First, let me thank my six fans for reading my blog last week.

I think it is apparent that writing a blog is really just ‘listening to yourself talk.’ Since from the age of three, I was always talking just for talking’s sake. So, I suppose that writing is just a natural extension of who I was always meant to be: a lonely, pathetic person who talks to herself in her own little world!

Stupid, stupid, stupid! My mind screams out to me!

What made me think I could be a writer? What made me think my story was any good? What made me think to tell people? What made me think I would be worth reading? What made me think I was worth listening too?

Then, as if my angels were reading my mind, I received Bryan Hutchinson’s latest blog, Why You Need To Do Something Stupid (To Succeed As An Artist) – See more at: http://positivewriter.com/stupid/#disqus. He reminded me that little lesson about life: It is worth taking chances and being stupid sometimes:

“We’re not always afraid of failure itself, we’re more afraid of the repercussions of failing and being considered an idiot for thinking we could get away with it.” – Bryan Hutchinson

I may have only six people who read my blog, but at least I did it! I may have written a novel that no one cares about. But, I least I did it! I could of stayed quiet about writing, like I have done for so many years, but as I least I told people! (Check me out on Facebook, Writerdeeva. Shameless plug????)

I am out there making a complete fool of myself. I am feeling stupid that I may never be successful at writing. I am feeling inadequate that my story is not good enough to be published. I am feeling ashamed that few people read my blog. I am embarrassed that no one goes to my Facebook page. But the bottom line is: I couldn’t be more proud!

            And in my own little world, I am doing just fine……           

Morning Comes

The light was penetrating through the bamboo shades like little yellow beams of gold. If Jane kept her eyes tightly shut, she might be able to ignore the brightness that was infiltrating her bedroom. It was still early, but the summer solstice was a few days away and the sun was pouring its way into her bedroom earlier and earlier each day. Five minutes more was all she was asking before she had to start another day.

Jane rolled over curling herself up into a ball. She squeezed her lids tighter and sighed aloud knowing it was no use. She was awake whether she liked it or not! Her alarm went off only confirming the realization. She reached over across the empty pillow beside her and shut it off.

She angrily kicked off her sheets, pushing them to the end of the bed as if it were their fault she was being forced out. Her eyes hurt as she slowly blinked them open. They were puffy and stinging from a lack of sleep. As her mind cleared and the dream state faded she tried desperately to suppress her thoughts about Stephen, but it was still too fresh in her memory. Stephan was gone and she was alone.

I have to laugh at myself at being a romance author. (Well, I laugh at myself about a lot of things but that can be saved for another blog.) I spend most of my time reading nonfiction. My areas of interest include theology, politics and the supernatural.

“How varied!” You are thinking.

And indeed it is! Maybe that is why my story is so interesting. Yes! Finding Jane has all of that in one little romance novel!!

I am not sure what makes a great author, or better yet, a great storyteller. Should I be reading more fiction? Does that disqualify me from writing fiction? If I got one message from the movie, I Remember Mama (1948) it is to write what you know. Although most of my reading in nonfiction, my attempt at writing fiction is just my need to be creative in the best way I know how; and my need to use words. That is what I know!

I have to laugh, again at my need to use words. When I was younger….and I stress the “er,” I was reprimanded on numerous occasions by my boss to make my business communications (because email was just a new concept then) short and sweet. As you might surmise, I was rather wordy in my expression of thoughts. It took me many, many attempts to learn my skill of concise communication only to the point of being reprimanded by another boss that I was too direct by my lack of expressive use of words.

Uuuuuuuuuuugh! I would never get it right! Until now….

Now I am free to express as long and flowery as I want. Oh, what joy I am having! All for your benefit, of course! In Finding Jane there is no shortage of beautiful repartee among my characters. One of the many charming qualities of the book! I hope you will be soon be able to experience that for yourself.

With all that said and a slight digression of thought, I would love to know what you are reading and why. Let me know what is on your nightstand. I am curious what interests inspire your imagination.

I realize that I do not need to post everyday. And today….well I have nothing to say. That is a first! So, with nothing to say, I guess I will pull a Seinfeld and say nothing:

I got my book yesterday of publishers, agents  and editors. The book is thick and daunting…..for some! I am eager to move forward with my query letter and get this “thing” out there! Will they like it? Will they hate it? Is my query letter any good? Can my book make them money?

Rejection is hard thing to take for anyone. But artists have to put themselves out there all the time and be judged and rejected a million times more than the average citizen. Are we creatures of punishment? Why would we do this? Do we seek fame that badly???

I never thought of myself as one seeking fame. Gosh, two people have read my book, and have liked it; I am as happy as one can be. If I never get published I am equally thrilled that someone liked my writing. But my drive is more than that. I love to create. I want to write more! I cannot wait to sit down and get the characters out of my head onto paper….or in this case, into the computer. I think I am good…no,I think my writing is really good! (Thanks Dad!) So, here I sit at the edge of the cliff, looking out into the sea of writers, publishers, editors and agents. Will they even notice that I have jumped and am looking for a place to land, or do I splatter on the ground with the hundreds of other “great” writers out there?

I was driving in a car with my friend when I asked her about romance. She laughed. She said she was the last person to ask about romance. In fact, she wasn’t even sure what romance was. Had she ever been with a romantic man? With a sigh, she confessed that she never really expected it. The modern woman has lost something….expecting romance.

With our independence we gave away our submission to be made love to. Why is being romantic synonymous with being denigrated? Men think it is being weak to be romantic, and woman feel it is giving up their power by wanting it! Say what???? We have been sold a bill of goods that being in bondage (and we all know what book I am referring to) is romantic. It makes me sad that we have lowered our standards of respect when it comes to love. Maybe because we can’t find the ideal? Or maybe because we stopped asking for it no one is even trying anymore! So, we read about it…millions and millions of romantic books are sold!

Hmmmmmmm This brings me to my second point: Woman want romance! They read it, they watch it, they daydream about it. They are unfulfilled because of it! Men, what don’t you get here??? Want Woman, Get Romance! (My new AD campaign.) Men often say, “Just tell me what to do and I will do it.” Well, here is my little secret to those men. READ ROMANCE NOVELS! It will be the best roadmap ever to getting sex! Find out what all those woman out there are thinking about and try, try hard to duplicate some of it. Duh! (But no, they turn to porn…as their ideal. I am not having sex with the pizza delivery dude with my girlfriend who came over for wine!!!! I am just say’in!)

Now, I am not saying you have to be a swashbuckling pirate, or a Highlander in a kilt….but that can’t hurt in the role playing department! What I am saying is that romance is still desired. Even with the sexual revolution, women haven’t lost their need to be tenderly kissed, softly touched, or longingly admired. Nor have they lost their need to be erotically touched, brazenly explored, or to be sexually turned on.They are just seeking it in a place they can find it from a someone who is willing to pleasure her: A romance novelist. What if she could find it with you???? In my novel, Finding Jane, Jane discovers that the idea of romance is not impossible from a man, but it is every bit in his capacity. She just needed to feel that she was honorable enough to have it. And what does Henry get in return from Jane? Find out soon on bookshelves near you!

I am curious…How long is too long for a book? There are many types of people out there, with all kinds of reading habits. I must not assume they are all like me. I love to read, and if a book is good, I don’t want it to end. If it bores me, well, I want it to end as quickly as possible.( I have rarely stopped reading a book if it was bad…I always have to finish it. That would just be rude!) But to my point, if a book needs 150,000 words to tell a story, or 80,000 words then so be it. Shouldn’t a book be based on the strength of the story being told?

The publishing world is doing the readers an injustice. They want 85,000 words from new authors. If it is over that….well, “Say good-bye to my little friend.” The first Harry Potter book was just over 79,000 words. By the time the last book came out Rowling had almost 200,000 words. Had her first book been remotely more, we may never had known who Harry Potter was! Finding Jane is just under 120,000 words. It is a complete story as such. I know, I will have to edit at some point to make the industry happy. But truly, would it be serving the reader?

As creative entities we writers do not want “our work” tampered with. Call it ego or bratty…Whatever! But the reality is, my novel is good the way it is. It makes a complete story and I would be doing the reader an injustice by cutting it short. This is not a TV show that needs to fit into a 60 minute timeframe. This is reading…the art of imagination with no limits. Could I make it two books? Maybe….probably, if I write more. I can do that. But at what price are we sacrificing quality story making? And who does it hurt in the end…you the reader. Maybe that is why there is so much crap in the marketplace! Hence what drove me to write a literary romance…I wanted to get back to good writing, quality storyline, great characters, and good conversations.

So, I ask you sincerely. What is too long of a book? How many pages do you stop and go, “I am not devoting that much time!” Looking forward to your feedback.

Today is my first day that I am now calling myself a writer. It has been a long journey up until this point. Many journals are filled, long written letters now disposed of with the new invention of email, and the incessant writing of my ideas and thoughts on notes, files, and yes, started books from long ago all have led up to this point in my life where I have put all that energy into a beloved book…that I have completed! Now what do I do? Write, of course!! And so my journey begins.

Finding Jane is my first completed novel. I am now in the process of trying to publish it. This is the hard part…the grueling part of writing, or any creative adventure: getting sold! I have decided to share my journey with you in hopes that I can entertain you with the my successes and failures. So put on your seat belts…..and follow me on my new adventure of becoming a writer! By the way…stick with me and I will start sharing Finding Jane with you.