Ink Upon Paper

3e43969e04378f1d1839b0e88e6ad4ea.jpg

(Correspondent, Antoine Emile Plassan, 1817)

Ink Upon Paper

Flittering of thoughts

Ink upon paper

Written before you

Not in rhymes or riddles

Nor hidden or in code

All eyes can bear witness

Of the words that appear

Unfolding in meaning

To each his own

Words of longing; prayers in vain

Of all that is longed for

Releasing the damned and liberating the soul

I share of my heart, true and unfiltered

Word upon word, revealing all of me

In the only way that I can

But if you look closely

Revelations belie

The seeker shall find

For only you they have purpose

If you wish to lay claim

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Standard

Chop Chop

Audrey-Hepburn-Portrait-Everything-Audrey-3.jpg

It all boils down to my hair!  Yup. My philosophy on life all comes down to how I make decisions about my haircut.

I had to stay out of the sun all summer due to some skin cancer issues on my nose. (All good…no worries.) Needless to say, I  was relegated to wearing a hat when I went outside. For most people this is no big deal. I mean, who doesn’t wear a baseball cap? Me. My head is so small that a cap basically doesn’t fit my head. Top that, (no pun intended) I have a skinny neck and my hips are the size of Canada. My proportions are…Well, let just say my head is not cap friendly. To offset this little problem (big if you are referring to my hips) I had to grow out my hair so that I had something other than my pencil neck sticking out of the cap.

All was good. I grew out my hair.

My long hair was “pretty.” People liked it. Well, apparently, they liked it a lot. For I just cut it and the response was…not positive. (When you cut your hair and no one says anything, that is being hostile!) Apparently, some didn’t want me to cut it…so shunning me is their response in protest. When pushed, I asked, “Well, what do you think?” I got the old, “I liked it better the other way,” from my daughter. My son said, “What?” My husband went so far as to say, “I like the back.” My best friend said nothing and pretended it didn’t happen.

Hmmmmmm.

So, here’s the thing. I LOVE IT! I have always loved my hair short. If I were to admit, it is “pretty” when it is longer. Isn’t long hair always pretty? Long hair is supposed to be sexier, prettier, more seductive.(Really?) But when I wear my hair longer, I feel like I am wearing a wig. I am more comfortable, happier, and feel more like myself in short hair. It suits me and my personality. I can be “pretty” with short hair. (There are moments!)  I think I am rather a seductive woman no matter what my hair length is. (Again, I have my moments!) But, my hair shouldn’t define my worth of being a woman of substance. It is just hair, people! 

But my hair does represent  a lot. It represents how I feel about myself and my inner strength: I don’t let others define who I am. I do what is inherently me. I define who I am, because I am the one living in my body, my mind, my self. Do I want to be attractive to others, make them view me in a positive way, and feel comfortable about how they see me? I think that is inherent as social beings. But at what expense? Should I be scoffed and ignored when I don’t behave to those standards? I can be all they want and expect, outside of their rigid standards: long hair=woman=pretty,sexy, desirable.

I think being true to yourself is inherently beautiful.

No one should be setting standards for you. You need to do what makes you comfortable, and be accepting with your decision. Not everyone is going to like it. But if you are true to yourself, you will be A-ok!

 

 

Standard

Reality Check

IMG_0331.JPGIt is one of those beautiful mornings in California. The sun is bright, the air is cool, the birds are talking to one another, and the colors of the plants are glittering. No, I am not pretending to be Snow White, singing a cheery little tune as I walk about nature! Okay, maybe I have a song running in my head, but I swear I didn’t sing it out loud!!

I mention the morning only because I think too many times we seem to miss what is important as we rise and start our day, or even how we end it. It truly is the simple things…the things we take for granted about what gives our life meaning. We too often miss seeing the purpose of our day…to be alive and enwrapping ourselves in the elements of the very real world that surrounds us. I went to close my french doors last night and looked up to the starry sky and thought, “I haven’t looked up in a long time.” I hadn’t really been outside at night for awhile. When darkness ascends, I sink into a chair in my house and  write or read. Shame on me!!!!  The air was fresh, the sky a navy blue, and the stars were out in force to greet me. It was so calming and I breathed in deeply, only to exhale and let go of whatever was stuck inside me: stress, fear, anxiety, worry. It was that simple, and that enjoyable. I can have this most nights and I don’t take a moment to go out and look up? We all  get so focused on work, kids, politics, drama, etc, that we just don’t sit for a moment in the elements of living and appreciate that we are human who feel, hear, touch, taste and think. Wow! Yes, I said, “wow.” Because  when you rise above the base, living is amazing.

So, this post was going to be something so, so different. I was going to talk about exercising and my lack of doing it during the summer. You know the time where being in shape is more visible? No, I seem to stop the workouts just before June. And then summer flies by with my ever present flabby body once again. So then, come September, I start up a diet and workout regime that gets me in shape, muscular, and strong only to be covered up by winter clothes. Why do I do that???? Maybe it is my silent way of saying, “Hey, I am never going to look good in a bikini and I am going to prove it!”

But there is a point that relates to the above: Who fricken cares!

During the summer my kids are home, unburdened by school. I love having them home, waking up and not rushing around, eating dinner when we get hungry rather than having set schedules for everything, and asking them what they are doing and they answer, “nothing.” I like “hanging” with them. We just let life kind of happen, rather than rushing here and there, and everywhere. Don’t get me wrong…we are still busy. Not sure what we have done with our days. But there is a sense of relaxation vs. chaos. I love that feeling.

Summer is that time that allows our souls to reconnect with nature and the life cycle of being humans. The moon is brighter in the sky, the abundance of plants give off energy, and the oceans are vibrating with the emergence of life. There is a special force out there that our minds, bodies, and spirits can’t ignore, and that rejuvenates us. It is right outside our doors. So, maybe not pushing my body to exercise, or indulging in ice cream and potato chips (Oh did I mention that when I said I don’t exercise during the summer? I bad!), or sitting outside and do nothing but look up at the sky is just plain OK! Maybe we need these moments out of our hectic days we call our life, to realize that our life really isn’t anything more than breathing in the crisp air, feeling the warmth of the sun, and listening to the birds sing. Everything else is a distraction from the real reality.

Standard

Recognition

 

Waterhouse_dante_and_beatrice_BMJ.jpg

(Dante & Beatrice, John William Waterhouse, 1915)

 

Recognition

We know from a glance

Our eyes light up

A flash of memory passes

The feeling that has no physicality

But for that which stirs something inside

A knowing…

One cannot explain this, nor reason

 It is there, unspoken

You are eternal to me

The light of my being

The beacon to the heavens

And there is no way to shield myself from love

 

Standard

Sexual Encounter

pic1large.jpg

(The Weeping Woman, Picasso, 1937)

 

Sexual Encounter

The light came through the windows

The shadows of my body exposed

The female form all there to entice you

The curves of my waist

The roundness of my breasts

You calculated your approach

Declaring your need

Grabbing at your possession

Pushing your wanting

Your empty kisses invading my neck

Pressing your desires upon me

 

You wanted my lips

I turned my cheek

You grabbed my hand

I pulled it away

You asked me to look

I turned my eyes

“I disgust you,” you declared

No, I am disgusted with how you treat me!

I bruised your ego

You have battered my spirit

You will forget

I never will

 

Standard