I love Shakespeare. No, I did not say I love reading Shakespeare. Let’s not get those two confused. Reading Shakespeare is harder than heck. Let’s face it. Unless you are some mighty collegiate literary major, no one really understands his poetry the way it is written. But what he writes is beautiful and emotional. He expresses his feeling so purely and poetically. That is what I love about Shakespeare. His ability to express his feelings and emotions for all the world to see. It defined the man as a romantic, a lover, a soul of great wisdom.

But maybe he wasn’t! Very little is known about the man. Maybe he was stoic and poised for all the world to see…and only through his words was he able to define his inner being. He could have been an ass to his lovers for all we know.

I am a writer. I write about feelings and emotions all the time. That is what makes my characters…their raw emotions, the explosion of feelings that I uncover throughout the pages. Their weaknesses and fears that seep through their actions. Their exploration of their emotional depths. The sharing of those discoveries to another person  and the ability to grow. Wow! How emotionally developed a writer must be to express all that.

Not.

I am a writer. And I dare say, I am not one of those anti-social, quiet writers that just want to be left alone. I admit with full disclosure, that I am a vivacious personality. (I know my friends and family are rolling their eyes. The statement may be a little understated.) But lets get this clear. Who I am is not reflected in that personality. It is the person I choose to express. It is not the person I am. That emotional person is locked deep inside. Safe. Or so I thought. Until the words start to flow and I realize that emotional safe space is tapped and I create.

I am full of those….you know….THOSE things you call emotions. They are just under the surface of my skin. No, let me rephrase that. They are a little deeper…safe where if I get cut, burned, scorned, hurt, you won’t see them. They are deeper than just under the surface of my skin. Maybe closer to my heart. You would have to pry open my chest to get to them. Except when I write. I bring them up through my blood. through my veins to the ends of my fingertips and onto the keyboard. Voile! Emotions that are raw and real. In my words, if you look closely, you have tapped into my emotional being.

Is not all art a tap into the dark layers of our emotional selves? I think that is why it is so hard to release my work to others. I fear they will see too much. They will tap into me…the me that I hide, keep safe, let no one else see. The stuff in my head. Who expresses what is in their head???? Stupid artist, that is who!!! We throw it out there, in black and white, in a song, with color on canvass, or on the stage. The average person would never, EVER do that. It is just too dangerous. You can get hurt, berated, judged, and demonized. Ouch! Why would anyone do that to themselves.

I don’t know…I am an idiot!!!

Now, let me state this loudly and clearly. The people I write about are not ME. Their experiences are all CREATED from my imagination. No, I never visited a whore house and “explored” myself. No, I did not travel through time. No, I am not describing a kiss that I once had by anyone, nor are the intimate scenes taken from personal experiences! The stories I write are creations, and strictly pure fiction.

Whew…got that explained.

What I am expressing is that writing is completely personal. You cannot help but tap into the side you might want to hide, for it is what makes your writing worth connecting with for the reader. If you don’t, I fear your characters will fall flat. You must let yourself be vulnerable to create art. That is a scary…no, a frightening venture. But maybe that is the only way I know how to let go of the inner me…

A friend asked me the other day what my blogs are about. Another friend interjected, “Life…her philosophy of life.”

Well said, my friend, well said!

Yes, I will have to admit that my “writing” blog isn’t about writing so much as it is about life. Well, my philosophy of life. I know, let’s face it…no one really cares about my philosophy of life! Who am I to give out ideas of grandeur? But needless to say, I spew it out in multitudes, whether anyone wants to read it or not. (Don’t you love America???)

My mom was wondering if I would write mysteries. She loves a good mystery. But that is not my forte. (Maybe I will one day just to make her happy. Everyone should try to make their mom happy!) I write about the human element. Love, loss, understanding between us humans. That is what moves me. It is what I want to explore, conquer, research, delve into…all in the name of the human connection. I am not a grand story teller. I am not mystical or fantastical. Maybe like Nathanial Hawthorne, I write about the mundane of people. Not sexy, but it is an important element in storytelling and writing. Human nature is a part of all of us no matter color, race, creed, gender, etc. Stories about the individual as the purpose has no expiration date. How amazing is that? There are plenty of books out there to grasp at those that want something to be “happening.” The mysteries to solve, the sex to have, the demons to conquer, the aliens worlds to explore. My stories are more about walking a journey of life…connecting ourselves with the human element no matter how big or small.

I have a great line in Finding Jane: “Books connect us to those that lived long before us, and give us a perspective on individuals and the importance of their existence. They can bring one small person to life before us, not just great heroes. It makes the everyday person have significance.”

This is why I write. I want to give significance to the individual and to the human element. I want people to read and feel that their little world, and their lives have meaning even if it is just a snippet in the existence of man. You don’t have to find a vampire to have deep love, go to an imaginary world to discover magic, or be tied up to enjoy sex. My stories make the ordinary just as interesting. Ordinary lives matter not only in the general purpose of humanity, but down to the minute details of all that one experiences in one’s short life. Those are my characters and the stories I tell. Each encircling character has characteristics, feelings, and purpose…they are not “nobodies.” In  Finding Jane, Egan, Mr. Hodges, Cook all have a purpose and a human connection to the main character. They are not just pedestrians….they are players. We are all players in life…and to not recognize that is taking away from our journey of souls. And the journey makes a great story to tell.

I admit, I personally am too “serious” for most people. Too passionate, too contemplative, too much! Hello, I am a writer!!!! I write emotionally, deeply, and probably too purely. I am not fluff, and this “human element” perspective is not for everyone. But…what is more universal than love and discovering the boundaries? What is more universal than exploring the bonds of our humanity? I do believe that there is a great audience out there for just what I have to offer. And I hope that when someone picks up my books they can recognize a little part of themselves, who they are, who they can be, and what makes them all so damn important.

So, there you have it. Not just me writing about writing, but my life’s philosophy. Be cognizant that you are significant!

I am, dare I say, a woman’s fiction writer…but I am writing about love. Does that put me into the romance genre? An agent noted my pace and tone was the that of the romance genre, but not quite that. I had to think about that for awhile. I thought I was writing about romance. But I didn’t want to be a romance novelist. I wanted something…..’not that,’ as the agent continued to evaluate my work. And that is just it. I am not writing romance, I am writing about love. Love between friends, father/daughter, mother/daughter, cousins, man and woman, etc.

I write about the loving bonds between people. I write about love…in its purest form, and in its sexual form. There is both…but do we know the difference?

That is just the thing….romance and love are not synonymous. But in this crazy American culture, where at twelve, kids are prevented from hugging each other because it is considered sexual, or a teacher cannot hold the hand of a small child to comfort them, or two men can’t hug without looking or feeling judged…well, need I say more? We don’t know the boundaries of sex and love.

I think we haven’t perfected our spiritual development where we can acknowledge a love for someone without a sexual aspect to it. If two men really find joy with one another, they start to question if they are gay. If two women really love each other, they are told to have sex with each other to “experience” those feelings. If two little boys are holding hands across the blacktop, they are labeled at the age of seven! Kissing someone on the lips is considered a sexual act. (I didn’t say, spreading their lips and tongue lashing…..) Reaching out and touching someone on the arm or leg is considered hostile or inappropriate. All these feelings of “love” are deemed wrong. How sad is that? Loving someone is cautioned. Feeling a deeper love for someone is taboo. Sharing those feelings is critiqued and criticized.

Well, I guess I must be a sexual predator for I am guilty of so many offenses. I love deeply. My heart is big and my meaning to show it is…well, inappropriate. I touch, kiss, hug, hold, grab all for the sake of being human. Our energy that surrounds us is important to our spiritual bonds to one another. To tap into that stream of energy feeds our souls. Yet, we are being driven further and further away from the very thing that makes us human.

I will admit it is hard to separate the attraction from the feeling of love. It seems very natural to want to be sexual with someone you have such deep feelings for. But yet, at the same time, I don’t want to have sex with everyone I deeply love. So, thus, it can co-exist. Loving someone can be deep and meaningful without wanting to French kiss the person! I have friends I love with the deepest of feelings. Men and women alike. When I am with them my heart sings, I am giddy, and I want to reach out and touch them to share how happy they make me feel inside. What is wrong with that???? Nothing, I say. Absolutely nothing!

I hug my girlfriends all the time. I walk arm and arm with them just to let them know I am feeling love for them. But I have never….yes, not even in college on a drunken night, wanted to sleep with my girlfriends.

I have lots of male friends. Okay…maybe not lots…but quite a few. (Probably more than an average married woman.) I have old and young, recent, and long time friends…some are really handsome. (My husband need not be jealous…for he is just as handsome!) Yet, I can actually find them attractive and still not want to sleep with them! (Okay, maybe there is one out there that I have had lascivious thoughts about…but they will have to fight among themselves to figure out who. Ha ha.) I can honestly say I “love” them deeply and truly…and love to spend time with them. But I know the difference of loving them, and sexing them. (I am sure my husband is relieved that I can differentiate!)

Love is a wonderful thing. It is a beautiful thing. It really should be rejoiced and celebrated. It should also be taught how to love someone outside of the confines of sexuality. We would be such a nicer civilization if we could do that. To reach out and touch someone..to make that spiritual connection is really the fulfillment of life. It is only with our bodies that we are separated by our souls. We need to tap into our souls to once again find our connection. But we are failing because of our limitation we are setting for ourselves. I am not saying it is easy. I am just saying it is possible.

I write books about love. Is there a genre for “Love?” But love isn’t just romance. It is so much more…and I hope my books can help bring our humanity a little closer to understanding that.

I know, I know….I have not given you some brilliance lately. For those of you who are new…that means, that I haven’t blogged lately. But don’t worry, once you read ME…you will appreciate my brilliance too!

Inspiration is a funny thing. You need to be inspired to create…so they say. But in the writing world, if you wait for that, a book would never be written. What I am learning from the creative world, is that you need to push yourself to be inspired. In other words…brilliance is WORK!

Doh!

Yup, brilliance is not this lucky thing that just happens to someone. It doesn’t just pop into one’s head, or come in a dream and then you wake up and, “Voila!” Brilliance is work like anything that is good, or important. You need to feed it, tap it, push it, drag it out, and nurture it. You need to create brilliance.

And that, my dear friends, is the truth of it all.

There are people who have high IQ’s. But what they do with it is what transforms that intelligence. Things just don’t happen…they have to be developed. You may a natural gift at painting. But if you don’t work at, learn, practice, etc…you will never create a work of art. I remember sailing for the first time. The person I was with let me take the helm and I did a great job. It kind of came naturally to me. But then he started to teach me the skill of sailing…I sucked. When I had to actually refine my skills and be accurate, timely, consistent, and safe, I flipped the boat, almost ran into others, etc. I wasn’t great at sailing. I had natural talents to learn, but I had no experience, knowledge, understanding, or practice to be brilliant. My ability to be great needed work!

I dare say, my second novel, Chosen Mistress, is better than the first. I know my third book will be better than that. I may know how to write. Well, as a few agents have noted, my writing is, “engaging,” and “charming.” (Shameless plug, I know.) I have lovely stories to tell. But my brilliance is yet to be developed. It is in the process. I am working hard, pushing, pulling, and nurturing my talent to be better. So, one day when someone says, “She is lucky to be so talented,” I can honestly say, “No, it was a lot of damn work!”

To my fans, I am now in the throws of my THIRD novel. Yes, I know I have been quiet and not so passionate about this one…YET! I haven’t been writing every day. I am not posting how many words I completed each day. I am not locking myself in my office. But, don’t despair that I have stopped writing. I am not taking a break. It just means that I am not going to push myself to write endlessly, like I did with Chosen Mistress. That book took me by surprise. I thought of it in November, started it in January, and finished it by May. By the end of August I had it completed and ready for beta readers. I know, this may seem slow to James Patterson who has a 13 books out a year. But for a writer, this is a pretty good push for a novel. In between that, I was working on my first novel’s revisions and editing. So, needless to say, I was…..consumed in writing.

There are many articles that warn you to make a schedule and to plan your day as a writer. Writing should not consume living your life….just your life’s work! I haven’t quite learned that yet. But as I completed the second novel, and am now starting to query it, I realized that I needed to step away from the “work”  and start up my life again. I enjoy diving into a novel…but the people in my life do not. And that is important to realize.

I wrote this morning. I am proud of that. My goal for this next book is to manage my time better so that I don’t isolate the people and experiences around me. This is a writing journey and I am learning to be a writer. This is one of those lessons I must learn if I am to be any good at writing, and at life. I am learning so much along the way; about the craft and about myself. Writing the last two novels was very exciting, educational, and draining. I cannot say that I didn’t love every minute. But, I did realize that it took me away from life during the process. My house suffered a cleaning, or two. My gardens went unattended, and my kids were eating whatever was in the house. My husband was wondering if he even had a wife anymore. Is this what being a writer is?

Writing, especially when you are not published, is not appreciated. I am isolating myself from people with no reward to anyone. (Well, maybe to myself…but that is rather selfish.) Quite honestly, even if I were published, there still are few rewards that would make anyone jump for joy. (Except for me and my agent.) But now that I am in two books deep, and have people who are enjoying my novels, I can’t seem to step away from it. I have writing fever, and just want to consume myself in the stories that are rattling in my head! I want to write all the time. If not writing, I want to think about writing. If not thinking about writing, I want to do research about writing. I just want to create and be creative. Eeeek, have I gone mad? I need to find a balance, or I might lose something I cherish. Now, if you were to ask me which one, my family/friends or the writing….the choice is not soooooo easy! (Just kidding…..friends and family…..sort of….kind of….)

So, over the last few weeks I have settled down to digest all these crazy thoughts. I am writing my third novel. I am about eight chapters in. The storyline is set, the characters are being developed, and I am slowly engaging into their lives. But I am not jumping in with both feet just yet. I need to pull back and let myself remember that I have a life. So, my house is now clean (For a few days…who are we kidding???) I will be heading into the gardens as soon as it cools down, and my kids are eating wholesome meals once again. I actually am enjoying the down time to catch up on Downton Abbey, or re-watching yummy episodes of Outlander. I might even finish a few books as well. There is a lot of work ahead for book #2 that will fill my days.  Book #3 is going to need my attention…I can feel it. But for now, I am remembering what got me here in the first place…my life.

Ahhhh, another novel under my belt. I should be blissful and jumping for joy…..NOT!

What does another novel mean to a writer? Crap, now I have to write the query, the synopsis, the back cover, tweet it, post it, tell everyone I know. Oh yeah, and there is the rejection all over again!

That moment of joy? The feeling of accomplishment? So quick you almost miss it….

I finished writing my second novel a few months ago. The first Draft. That made me soooo excited. I got the story out. I cheered a little…okay, maybe a lot. I told everyone, “Hey, look at me, I wrote another book.” But in the back of my head I knew that I was a fraud. It wasn’t completed. I still had to put it together, align the chapters, edit, revise and make it look somewhat like a book so that I could finally hand it out to my beta readers. Well, I am now there. I have my book “completed.” Until…I get feedback, rewrite & revise, cut it, add to it…to have my book “completed” A-GAIN. Oh, and that is just the beginning. There will be more to come when I put it out there to agents who will, ‘like  it, but it is not for them’, ask me to cut it down, make it tighter, or just plain reject it.

So, the big question is: Is writing a novel ever done?

I will let you know when I have one of my novels (now there are two to choose from) is published and I can’t change it anymore. As long as it sits on my computer with editing capabilities, writing a novel is never done….until the fat lady sings me a book deal! So, as I shout today, for tomorrow will be another day of revising, and moving on to the work of a book (query development, the long and short synopsis, and promotion), I will relish the thought that I have completed my second novel.

Get ready beta readers…

I  was struggling with this week’s blog. I had nothing profound to say. I know! Me with nothing to say???? But then I did something stupid and it hit me…I can write a blog about it! (I have no sense of pride!!) Why not tell the world of my blunder.

I was texting a friend, who just happens to be a previous boss. In other words, I blundered with someone I regard highly. I sent him a text about a fellow colleague and said the simple words, “It would be nice to have him.”

Now, on the surface, those are simple words. Harmless. But as a romance writer…those words connote so much more than what they state. The moment the worlds flew threw cyberspace my embarrassment was upon me. “To have him?” The recipient of my words, my highly regarded boss, may not have understood my apology that soon followed, but any romance reader would totally pick up on my embarrassment. And thus, I soon followed with, “Ummm, what I meant to say is that I would like to see him.”

These few lines of dialogue reminded me to say what I mean! My highly regarded friend probably knew nothing of my angst, but as a writer, I was tormented. Words can be so misunderstood and have far too much meaning if one is not careful. We say things quickly and don’t give much thought as to what it truly means. But when written down, it is there for all to interpret…to slow think.

When writing your first draft you throw it all out there. In the editing process you start to take it back and lay it out methodically. One of my editors said to me, “Make sure you are writing the correct words.” For example, if I say, “He yelled,” that can connote anger. When what I meant to say, “He called out loudly.” Totally different meaning. The first example, my character is angry or mean. The second example he is being respectful and making sure someone hears him. Say what you mean. Not just hint, or hope the reader will understand or see it your way. Readers can interpret a million different ways. But as a writer, it is your job to say what you mean so that your reader understands your intent.

Art is interpretive. But ultimately, the artist has a message that they hope will get through to the viewer. Writing has the same goal. There is ultimately the message that you want to get across. Our gift as the artist is to be able to communicate to the receiver that message as inspiring and creatively as we can. But make sure it is clear!

So, as I reflected on my faux pas, for I had no intention of “having” the gentleman I was referring to…I am reminded that words make a difference. I need to be careful of what I say and what I mean, especially because I am a writer. Not that writers are more noble than the rest. But because it is our job to understand words better and how we use them. Is there room for mistakes? My friend was forgiving, but will my readers be? Labeling myself a writer has made me watchful of what I say and what I want to mean. But it has also made me be a better communicator of my thoughts….and that can’t be a bad thing overall.

Wow…what a weekend! I just got back from the Writer’s Digest Conference 2015 in New York City. How can you not enjoy a long weekend in New York. I ate at fabulous restaurants, saw an incredible play (Something Rotten!), shopped in SoHo, visited the MET, admired Grand Central Station, and conquered the subway. Now that is a getaway! But I was not just playing, or was I? This goes back to question: Is writing my pasttime?

When you are not published that seems to be the consensus – that you are just “playing” at writing. But as writers we know, that writing is a lifetime career. How traditionally successful we are all depends on what we do with it. Writing a novel is the first step, but there is more to it and attending a conference is a great way to start learning the industry and to define and achieve success as a writer.

This WDC15 was my first. I love reading Writer’s Digest and learning from people who have walked before me. Their newsletter and articles are amazing and have kept me on top of my game. This conference offered an up-close and personal look at the writing industry. There were great seminars, wonderful speakers, and opportunities to meet those that are in the industry as well as aspiring fellow writers. Many things happened and I came back a whole new writer in many ways. Here is some of my take away:

I am inspired! There were some great keynote speakers who really gave each of us a hope that what we are doing is worth something. They did not promise fame or fortune…quite the contrary. But what they passed along was,  keep writing! Each speaker had a different life story and different reason that propelled them to write. But they all wrote. A love of reading and a love of writing is what drove these now successful writers forward. They did what they loved and just wrote.

Learn your craft! It is one thing to write. It is another thing to learn the craft of writing. Jonathan Maberry gave us this piece of information and the words sank in deeply. Anyone can write….but not everyone will take the time to learn the craft of writing. I can’t know it all, nor do I. I learn more each time I get my book edited, when someone reads it, I get feedback, and even from rejections. My writing skills become more refined and better. We are craftsmen of words. That is the real work, but that is what will set us apart from the rest.

I found my peeps! I normally don’t like crowds. I normally don’t like to be a part of a group. But there was a sense of belonging I was not prepared for. It felt good to be with other writers. Quirky, nerdy, excited, lovers of books, imaginative, focused and driven. So many people with this common love of writing! People who share the same things you go through. People who like to talk, share and listen. People who don’t even know you, are somehow excited for you! Everyone was friendly and even though I didn’t know a soul, I never felt alone. There was always someone who was willing to talk to you, help, direct and just share in the experience. From the people who ran the event, the speakers, the agents and the fellow writers, we were all there in unity.

Writers support each other! From the keynote speakers to the agents, all had this wonderful attitude: Pay it Forward. Lift each other! No one was better, more powerful, more important. We all were just there as one big giant support group with a common love. For when one of us is successful, everyone wins. There is always room for more stories and more books. We aren’t competing against each other. When one writer is successful it only highlights what we truly want for the world…for more people to read.

The Book Industry is a Business. I come from business.I love capitalism. I am not some idealistic artist that thinks art is a noble form and should be honored just for its sake. Writing is an art. Writing well is a craft. Being published is luck. Making money is a business. Achieving all of that is hard work like anything else. The agents and publishers are not mean wolves waiting to devour us. They are people who are in love with reading just as much as writers…but they have a job and responsibility to make money. When we get rejected we think it is personal. Business is not personal! Writers need to remember that. You may writer a beautiful story, have the greatest idea or need a message to be heard. But it must be sellable. But sellable and valuable are not synonymous. We should learn the business of writing as well as the craft of writing. We writers need to evaluate  our work as a commodity as well as art.

I went to the pitch slam hoping I would meet an agent interested in my work. I did and that was all great. But my main drive to attend this conference was to jump all in! It is easy to sit behind a computer and write, unnoticed and dream of getting published. It is scary to actually step into the writing world, say it out loud, put your face out there and meet people with whom you now have to be accountable. But I was ready.  I wanted to learn the industry, meet the rainmakers, and be among “my” people. I have written two novels now and feel confident that I am now a part of an industry…a business. I can now say with pride, “I am a writer.” Of course, I doubt myself as a writer all the time. It is a tough business and the odds of getting published are not all that great. But this conference was a great experience that ‘pumped me up!’ I am inspired to keep going, get better, and cherish what I do. What better way to spend a weekend!

But like I have said in almost every blog..I love to write. That is not going to change just because I don’t get a book deal. Being among fellow writers reminded me of this again. Just write! 

But she was not in the mood to eat, nor be cordial towards anyone, no matter how kind the gesture. She stripped down to nakedness, wrapped herself up in a large quilt and crawled upon her bed like a child, encircling herself in a cocoon of pity. Nothing could stop the shear agony that went through her heart. She felt like a fool for allowing herself to be swept up in Henry’s arms. Her emotional attraction to him was unexpected and irrational, and now she was disgusted with herself for allowing him to take advantage of those feelings.

“It was just a kiss!” She kept on repeating to herself.

–Finding Jane

Yes, it is an excerpt from, Finding Jane…because I am immersed in the editing process once again, and it is on my mind 24/7.

I have been asked to revise my story by a few people and it is a grueling, if not a learning process of becoming a writer. But how joyous is it to be able to say I am “revising” and not “rewriting. Every story, every author needs to be edited. I am just going through the process of becoming a better writer……and I am sticking to that premise!!!! But in the end, after a few interested parties in my work, I know it is a good story with promise. Or at least this is what I tell myself at 2am when I am doubting myself.

I will admit that when an agent comes back with suggestions, it is wholly exciting to think they actually like your work. But the statistics: 2% of rewrites are actually accepted. So, why do it? Because it does make you better, tell a tighter story, give purpose to your work, and humbles you. My first go around I threw words onto a page. The second time I pulled those words together to coexist as one story.  The third time I fixed blatant errors….and thus it goes on. Each step gets you closer to something better, something that sets you apart from writing a story to becoming a true Writer.

I struggled for about a week with the suggestions. Honestly, there weren’t many, but they were important enough to point out. Can I fix them? Of course. Do I want to? Some. This is where your true essence, I think, is revealed. All writing can be edited, but not all needs to change. This is where you, as a writer, come through and create your voice. I am learning my voice through this process. I have grammatical errors, sentence structure problems, and repetitive words, etc. But storyline edits? Did I really want to change that? In the process of trying to work with the suggestions given, I found myself losing something about me….my voice. And that is where I had to stop and ask myself, “Who am I?”

I wrote Finding Jane for a very specific reason. I wanted to introduce 19th century literature to the 21st century reader. In this world of high speed internet and thoughts, disconnection to the person sitting next to you, and the loss of speaking to one another, I wanted a story that brought people back to humanity. The mundane of meeting someone and just finding out who they are and the art of conversation. I wanted to show that people can connect beyond the instant and find meaning in that union. Authors like Jane Austen, Nathaniel Hawthorne, and the Bronte Sister are artisans at this. But let’s face it….not many are wanting to read a paragraph long sentences, in old English! I get it. But what they offer is meaningful….a beautiful way to honor people and the connections that binds us in friendships, family and love. This is what I wanted to give to the modern reader. While trying to edit my work somewhere I was losing site of myself and the meaning of the story. I didn’t want to do that. So, I stopped and reassessed the editing and made sure that my story and its meaning behind all the words, characters and the storyline were still the way I had planned.

Finding Jane is a lovely story. It is beautiful and sweet. Ok, not words that would describe a best seller! But I believe it is a best seller because it gives the reader an experience, not just words on paper. Finding Jane is a journey to another place and time, where  maybe you want to linger for awhile. It has people you want to meet and talk to…not just characters. Yes, for God’s sake, it has romance and sex…..think I am stupid!!! But it isn’t about that, it is about the love that grows and you feel it…not just see it.  It gives the reader a human experience inside an unreal world, not just a reading book. Isn’t that what books should do? Shouldn’t that make a best seller? I hope so.

I think I am achieving what it is that makes me unique and my writing mine…but still show that I can edit in a professional way, take suggestions and corrections to create a better “mine.” And so I continue on my journey to writing… editing to hopefully fulfill the needs of the agents interested in my work, while giving them a writer with a voice that they want to represent, and readers an author they want to read. Good news, they like my writing and the story. Now, I just have to prove I can be a writer!

What story was an experience rather than just a book you read? Let me know in the comments.

So, what is on my mind today? Reading. I am trying very hard to read Fiction. if you have read my other blogs….ha ha, who are we kidding….I do not read a lot of fiction. I am a non-fiction kind of gal. Love philosophy, history, religion, supernatural, etc. Yes, call me a nerd, geek, or whatever the “in” word is for my particular lack of “coolness.” Non-fiction is what I would prefer to spend my time reading when I am not writing. The task of reading fiction is, well a task! And this weekend showed me how hard it was.

I have been reading a book by one of my friends who is a published author. A sweet story full of murder and intrigue. It was nice, kept me interested and I finished it with a satisfaction of time well spent. This is how a book should make you feel; that you spent your very little free time doing something worth the distraction. Unfortunately, I read three more books this weekend that I literally wanted to throw against the wall! One I finished, two I just stopped reading. A sin I rarely give into. As I have said, once a book is started, it is only respectful to finish it. But, my time is valuable. I give up writing time to read….so it is quite a sacrifice. A necessary evil in a writer’s life. (And it doesn’t make my fans happy that my book is not getting done!)  So, when I finished the first book that was bland, uneventful and poorly written, I was in no mood to accept the challenge of the other two when I found them…well, TERRIBLE!

Is it me, or there a lot of bad books out there???? I, as a new novelist, am tirelessly reading how to create great characters, intriguing story lines, exciting openings, and satisfying endings. But yet what is out there holds nothing to these values. There is so much crap! Boring beginnings, lack luster characters, crass language, uneventful story lines, and poor writing have been a theme lately among the fiction I have been exposed to. Authors that I have read reviews about and books that have been recommended have been far below my expectations of what I value as literary. Yet, they are published! Have readers changed in their expectations, or has the publishing world settled on mediocrity???

I was recently speaking with a friend about my own novel. She is reading it now and made a comment about how detailed my writing was and how she felt that she was in the book every time she picked up to read. I asked, “Do you think it is too wordy? Too detailed to be of interests for today’s reader?” I have some chapters that are in my book for mere layering  of the characters and storyline development. I asked if she felt these were unnecessary. She explained that she enjoyed a book that took its time to be more intricate and develop. So many books skip over the added layers that bring a story alive….for the sake of being a quick read. She was not that kind of reader and appreciated a novel like mine. Her wants in a book are why I started to write….to give readers like her a true literary experience. An experience that seems to be fading away in this fast paced, get a story done quickly and move one. Short, thoughtless stories that are easy to read and over and done with to move on quickly to another one exactly like it. It is the robotic mentality of reading these days. Distract in quick increments like commercials; try to get in as much in as possible in 30 seconds, or in a book’s case, in 75,000 words or less.

Of course, there is market for this instant gratification kind of reading. Unfortunately, I am not that reader, and thus many books that I am picking up lately are not for me. Which leads me to revise my rule of always finishing a book. I now have a new rule….only finish a book if it is worth my time! I no longer will feel obligated to honor the writer if the writer cannot give me what I want: a good story, well written, and with characters I like or am interested in reading about.  I am have been reading waaaaaayyy to long now to have to settle for anything less.

Are readers less discriminating? Let me know your thoughts of what kind of reader you are.