Mirror, Mirror…

Mirror Mirror…

You all mock me

My love life the butt of your jokes

As if I am some kind of freak to have loved

So many times…

As if you are all better than me

 

Do you think I had not loved with all my heart

Committed my soul

Had my dreams

Worked longer, pushed harder, struggled ferociously

Is not the tearstained road I have traveled worth anything?

Do you think I do not know my own failures?

The billboard of lights flashing above my head:

Unlovable, Ashamed, Unworthy, Fool...LOSER!

When did my broken dreams become the casualty of your mockery?

 

You, who parade around with smug righteousness

Badges of honor in gold and silver

As if you have something I am incapable of

Something I am not deserving

My heart is no different than yours

Except…

Mine has been torn a part

Ripped to shreds, stomped on

Cast aside, disposed; thrown away like it was nothing

NOTHING!

 

So, yes, maybe you are different than me

Maybe you are blessed

Really lucky…

To have someone who loves you for all that you are and all that you aren’t

Through good and bad, thick and thin, better and worse

Someone who is truly committed to you and will love you through time

But what if you didn’t? What if…

 

Maybe you mock what scares you the most

Being empty, alone, and unloved

Thrust aside as if you were…insignificant

Your heart broken…bludgeoned beyond repair

Would you look like me then?

 

I survived, picked up every tattered piece, wiped up my tears, bandaged my wounds

I persevered, and moved ahead

To love again…and yes, again

And will continue to do so, in spite of your judgment, the snickers of laughter at my expense

I will not break from your words, the constant reminder of my failures thrown about as if I am the laughable fraud of marriage

Forever will I seek love in the purest form, for I have only that to give

My purest self is love…mutilated and shredded, but not taken away from me

Pitiful is the man who lets others break his spirit! I say

But you should know…

My heart is still there, as damaged as it may seem to you

As damaged as I may seem to you

It beats just like yours…maybe only a little stronger for the wear

 

One thought on “Mirror, Mirror…

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